


Good Enough Now

by FakePlastikTrees



Category: Damages
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-04
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2017-11-20 06:12:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/582161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into their everyday life through several big transitions in their relationship</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Enough Now

Leaving is not an option anymore.  
   
Not for either woman. It isn't one for Ellen, who is usually the one who leaves. And it most definitely has never been a choice for Patty, who seems to have a talent in letting Ellen rule when the two women ought to interact and when they need to separate.  
   
Ellen never asks why Patty seems to instantly forget the young woman's wrongs the second their paths cross once and again. And Patty doesn't want to know what prompts Ellen to return.   
   
After all, there are no lines between them anymore. And if they were to attempt drawing them, they'd be drawn out with chalk, for them to quickly be washed away.  
   
It isn't something they want to go too deeply into. Because it's all about time with them. Everything that plays into their careers revolves around very limited time, leaving them with an even smaller slice of the pie to share together. It isn't worth it, diving head first into something that could ultimately drown them both.   
   
Although, deep is the only way to describe the level of dysfunction and irrationality in this entire set up. It has to be. It can't be simple or in any sort of mid level. They only work on an extreme.   
   
It's complicated. For those who are mere observers, anyway.   
   
They compliment each other. Ellen smoothes out Patty's rough edges when they need to be smoothed out, and Patty pushes Ellen in a way that makes them both stronger. Ellen needs that push sometimes. And only Patty knows when to do so. It's a strangely developed give and take they fell into the second they first shook hands.   
   
This give and take that translates into the physical aspect of the arrangement.  
   
The first encounter isn't quite so generous, however. Ellen mostly takes. And Patty allows it. A peace treaty signed with a ten minute tryst on Ellen's bed that doesn't even allow them to bother crawling under the sheets first.  
   
There, too close to the edge of the bed, after a late night drunken confession, Ellen fucks Patty into submission, leaving them both breathless and bruised from the encounter.  
   
Now, they're not so hurried. Now, they take their time, and Ellen finds that Patty is quite the gentle lover when she has a few hours to spare--not a terribly surprising find after having seen the woman cry on more than one occasion. She feels. And she's attentive. And Ellen enjoys that only she gets the privilege of experiencing this particular side to the legend. It's something that only belongs to her.  
   
It's definitely not something Ellen ever imagined she would see as something she would so desperately want. Not with someone like Patty.  
   
She wanted it all. And that all, meant a husband and a career and children.  
   
She went on believing this was her 'perfect' for a very long time. But time changed her. Meeting Patty has changed her. Getting to know her parents changed her. And somehow, that image she was striving for, gradually blurred until it was nothing but a blank canvas.   
   
Now, she has the career, ever growing--admittedly thanks, in large part, to her association with Patty--she has a partner, unconventional as it may be, she has that support and that love that makes her feel a certain level of normalcy amongst everything else that no one else seems to get.   
   
Especially Ellen's parents.   
   
Her mom can't seem to be able to wrap her head around the fact that her daughter is sleeping with a woman decades older. And her father--well, her father has given up.  
   
But none of that matters, because they don't know, and they don't understand. They don't see when Ellen is at the end of her tether with the womanizing incompetents she works for--they don't see how Patty knows just what to say. And they don't know that Patty offers to ruin them all if Ellen just said the words.  
   
It's for the best, Ellen is sure. No one should see the small gestures behind closed doors. The morning kisses over coffee, and tea--the snuggling late at night, which Patty still refuses to acknowledge.  
   
They don't know that Ellen loves watching Patty talk. Not just listen. She loves being in the room with her during meetings. Loves to watch her lips move, every word so carefully calculated--yet so effortlessly uttered. They also don't know that Patty loves having Ellen around more than she's ever enjoyed any other man or woman in her life.  
   
There were rules, in the beginning. Nothing they ever really talked about, but they existed. There were no sleep-overs, for instance. There could be talking for hours on end, drinking was also acceptable as sex would surely follow. But when either one became tired enough to elicit a yawn, it was time to go.  
   
There was also Catherine to think about. Ellen could be around the little girl during the day, even some evenings, but it was understood early on that she was not to see anything that might prompt inopportune questions.  
   
One day, Ellen breaks that rule and asks Patty to stay. Completely by accident.   
   
Her breath is still bated, and her face is partially buried in a pillow. Her body is covered in nothing, except a thin sheen of sweat and an even thinner white sheet. Patty has got a hand over her eyes and is trying to figure out how she's going to get back to work like this. "We have got to stop doing this in the middle of the day," She says, her voice low and raspy due to their earlier activities, "I can't look like I've just been fucked into the mattress every other day after two PM. It's embarrassing."  
   
Ellen snorts against the white cotton and releases a muffled, "It's embarrassing that you're getting laid? Your priorities are slightly--disheveled."   
   
"Oh, disheveled. Is that supposed to be funny?"

Ellen laughs her reply.

 

 

"It's embarrassing, Ellen, to have to lead a meeting with colleagues and clients in a wrinkled skirt."  
   
"So, stay." It's said as a joke, but once it's out, Ellen realizes she means it.   
   
And Patty realizes that she wants Ellen to mean it. Still, work is work, and she won't start neglecting it now.  
   
"I can't. I have to get back."  
   
Thankful that the moment has passed without any awkwardness, Ellen continues, "This doesn't change anything about tonight. You're still coming over, right?"   
   
"About that--"   
   
Ellen freezes.   
   
"Why don't you come over and have dinner with us? Me and Catherine."  
   
When Ellen lifts her head off the pillow, she's trying not to look as surprised as she is. But she nods her head and says as coolly as possible, "Yeah, sure. That sounds great."   
   
"You should bring a change of clothes."  
   
"Oh?"   
   
"You always leave so late. You might as well stay."   
   
Patty's still covering her eyes with her hand, so Ellen allows herself a smile, then, "Okay."   
   
And now, Patty breathes easily. That is until, Ellen shifts beside her and crawls over the blonde's body, trailing a shameless trail down her abdomen with her tongue.  
   
"I have to get back to work--" Patty says, but Ellen has parted her legs and is lapping at the older woman with long, luxurious licks. Patty doesn't stand a chance. "--ten minutes." Is the last coherent statement she makes.  
   
Catherine eases into the minor change fairly quickly. She never really asks any questions, but it doesn't surprise either woman because Ellen spends enough time there as it is.  
   
But it's good old child curiosity in the midst of dinner that prompts their next evolution.  
   
"Ellen, are you grandma's girlfriend?"  
   
Ellen's eyes widen suddenly and the small bite of chicken she's taken, suddenly needs to be chewed a little bit longer.   
   
Patty has the same look of terror in her eyes. She hides it a lot better, though. It helps that she has a glass of wine to help her wash down the shock.   
   
"Um--" Ellen finally manages. Her throat feels unbelievably dry, "--what do you think I am, sweetheart?"   
   
Shyly and in that tiny voice Ellen has no idea whom she got from, Catherine says, "You kiss. And only girlfriends kiss. Tommy and Caitlin and Jimmy have two mommies and they kiss each other because they're girlfriends." She turns towards Patty then for affirmation.   
   
Patty, surprised at just how many lesbian couples have children enrolled in Catherine's school--she makes a mental note to do more research in the near future, just out of curiosity--smiles tightly and nods, "You're right, honey."  
   
"I can tell Caitlin you're girlfriends?"  
   
Patty looks at Ellen, who is smiling like a fool. Patty fights the urge to roll her eyes and instead leans in Catherine's direction, "Sure. You can tell Caitlin Ellen is my...girlfriend." The sentence alone feels strange on her tongue and she winces a little. Should someone her age have someone she calls her "girlfriend"?   
   
"Okay. Can I go play now?"   
   
"Just a little while before you go to bed, okay?"   
   
"Okay."   
   
"Can I have a kiss?"  
   
"Okay."   
   
"And Ellen?"   
   
Ellen receives a chaste peck on the cheek and waits until the little girl has run out of the room to sit up and stare at Patty for a great while.  
   
"Girlfriend sounds strange, doesn't it?" Patty asks Ellen.  
   
Ellen chuckles, "Yeah, it does. I don't like partner, though--" She says with a scrunch of her nose, "--it makes me feel like I should be wearing plaid or something..."  
   
"And flats..." Patty says in an eerily quiet tone, then looks up as she adds, "--I like 'Ellen'."  
   
"I like 'Patty'."  
   
"Okay."  
   
"Okay."  
   
They don't talk about this again.  
   
As far as the emotional aspect of their partnership, Patty has never shied away from that. And Ellen has always been able to confide in Patty. Even in their darkest phase together, whether she liked it or not, the younger woman felt more at ease with Patty than with anyone else. Sometimes, she believes that she felt more vulnerable than she would have liked. And that was, partly, her undoing.  
   
Now, it's not as difficult to just fall under that vulnerability.   
   
For Patty, it's a different story. She's grown more guarded over the years, and while it frustrates Ellen at times, she understands it.   
   
Loving Ellen has ever only brought Patty pain, physical and emotional. So, while the recent transition between them is great--there is still some precaution to be had. Still, she can't help but let it all go at the first sign of distress in the younger woman.     
   
Ellen's family, in particular, has a knack for causing immediate damage. One singular phone call manages to royally piss off Patty to a brand new level.  
   
"Mom--you know--" Ellen sighs, pacing around Patty's living room floor with the phone pressed to her ear and an easing palm pressed to her forehead, "--you don't have to come. It's as simple as that."  
   
Patty hates being the only spectator to these moments. Mostly, because she's forced to do nothing. This is the one area where she won't even think to ask Ellen if she wants her oppressors taken out at the knees.   
   
So she sits at the dining table, lap top open but ignored as Ellen continues to argue to her mother.   
   
"I just don't  understand why you can't just spend your birthday with your family..." Ellen's mother cries on the phone.  
   
Throwing her able hand in the air, Ellen exclaims, "I'm more than willing to spend my birthday with my family, mom! That's why I'm inviting you over! That's why there's a small party!"  
   
"In that woman's home--"  
   
"Patty. Her name is Patty, mother." She grunts and rounds the coffee table for the hundredth time, "And I spend more time here than I do in my own apartment now, so--it's home here for me too. This is where I am."   
   
"I just don't think it's healthy what you're doing, Ellen. I really don't--"   
   
Ellen stops pacing. Patty becomes weary and she looks on, waiting for the outburst.   
   
"Which part, mother?" Ellen asks, voice suddenly filled with emotion, "What bothers you most? That I don't want to come down there or that I'm sleeping with Patty?"  
   
Patty winces at Ellen's response. She would definitely call it crass. But of course, she would never tell Ellen that.   
   
"Ellen, there is no need for that kind of talk," Her mother scolds. "You raising her little girl with her--it's unseemly, what are people going to think?"  
   
"Oh, I don't know...what are people going to think? That we're together. We are. We are together. When are you going to get that? It's not going away--"  
   
"It's not normal, Ellen."  
   
"Normal for whom?" Ellen asks, her voice breaking before she catches her breath, "All you should care about is that I'm happy. I've been unhappy for so long and I'm finally okay. That's what you should tell people when they ask you why I'm screwing my boss."  
   
Patty physically silences herself with a hand to her mouth and continues to watch. She's waiting. Waiting for her time to step in. And that moment arrives soon, when Ellen's mother yells something loud enough for Patty to catch the jest of from a distance, and Ellen yells, "I can't talk to you!"  
   
Swiftly, Patty rises to her feet and halfway across the distance between them, Ellen turns and gestures helplessly at the phone, mouthing "I can't." Tears pool in her eyes before she hands over the phone and steps aside with her hands in the air in surrender.   
   
"Mrs. Parsons," Patty says calmly into the receiver, even though she's dying to do some yelling of her own. She very much wants to. But she knows exactly what she should say, for Ellen's sake anyway. In a later phone call to the other woman, she can better express her feelings for Ellen's entire family. For now, the very minimum will have to do, "This is Patty Hewes. Ellen will have to call you back when she's able. You've upset her, so, we would appreciate it if you didn't call for a few days until she's ready to speak to you."   
   
"You have got some nerve, you know that?"   
   
Smirking with everything she's holding back, Patty replies, "Oh, you have no idea." And hangs up. She tosses the phone on the couch as if it's contagious and turns to look at Ellen, who is staring back with an unreadable expression.   
   
"She'll come around." Patty assures her, even though she doesn't believe it herself.   
   
Ellen nods her head. She doesn't believe it either. However, she is grateful for the warm embrace she receives in a matter of seconds as she begins to cry silently.  
   
"Did you also tell her about your fondness for afternoon delights?"  
   
Ellen laughs against Patty's shoulder and replies with a sniffle, "I'm sorry. I was angry."  
   
Patty smiles, "You deserve bragging rights, I suppose."  
   
And just like that, Ellen is okay.  
   
Patty isn’t as easy to comfort. In fact, she's nearly impossible to be around. She knows this herself, and so on this particular day, she removes herself from an inevitable fight with Ellen, and takes Catherine to the lake house for the weekend.   
   
It takes Ellen two hours of tossing and turning in her own bed before she realizes she is incapable of sleeping alone now, and for her to decide to get in her car with an overnight bag in search of Patty, furious.   
   
"What are you doing here?"   
   
Ellen glares at her girlfriend, then replies, "Well, it's nice to see you, too." Patty doesn't say a word. "Can I come in or what?"   
   
Patty leaves the door open and turns on her heel.  
   
Inside, the fire is burning as strongly as Ellen's anger, and the young woman doesn't have to guess that the half empty bottle of bourbon on the coffee table was full when the blonde first got there. Upon looking around the place, Ellen thinks about the last time she was here. She can't believe it's been years. Three to be exact. Three years since Tom was killed.  
   
It dawns on her quickly. A cold rush as she sets her bag down on the floor and eyes the back of Patty's head, where she sits on the large couch facing the fire. Suddenly, she isn't so angry.    
   
Days of trying to figure out why Patty's been walking around with a seemingly permanent scowl, finally boil down to this. Walking cautiously towards the other woman, Ellen asks, "Is Catherine sleeping?"  
   
"Yes." Patty says and sips her drink.  
   
"Are you okay?"  
   
After a moment, Patty licks her lips and answers an unconvincing, "Yes."  
   
"I don't believe you."  
   
"What else is new?"  
   
Rather than take the bait an barge into a shouting match, Ellen waits behind the couch for a moment to offer some lasting strength to her patience, then moves around to stand between Patty and her view of the fire. "Do you want me to go?" She asks softly.  
   
After what seems like forever, Patty answers, "No." She clears her throat and takes a larger gulp of bourbon before adding, "I sent Tom's family flowers and they sent them back. I sent--" She breathes in deeply and looks everywhere except at Ellen. She's been crying, "--his kids a check. For school. They sent it all back."  
   
Ellen's heart melts instantly for the woman before her. Tom was one of the very few people in Patty's life whom she could really trust and earnestly cared about. And now, he's gone and what's left of him wants nothing to do with her. Ellen has always felt a great deal of fault in what happened to him. So, now, seeing Patty destroyed like this, tears her apart. "That was very generous of you, Patty. I'm sure they're still grieving. It must be difficult for them."  
   
"They think I'm buying them. Maybe I am."  
   
Ellen sighs and hesitates before slowly moving to sit astride Patty's lap. She's thankful that she doesn't seem to protest it. "Listen to me." Ellen tells her firmly and takes the empty glass from her hand, "You are not as awful as you think you are. Catherine is the sweetest little girl. How do you think that happened?"  
   
"I have no idea, to be honest with you." Patty retorts dryly, letting her fall gently against the backrest.  
   
Ellen laughs and scoots in a little closer to set the glass down on a smaller table behind the couch, and begins to gently comb her fingers through blonde locks and instantly feels Patty relax.  
   
That's one thing Patty will never admit to. That she enjoys being taken care of. She likes that Ellen is strong enough to do that. Brave enough to do that. Not a lot of people are.   
   
"You are sweet, I'm sorry to tell you."  
   
Patty glares at Ellen then. Somehow, the tension melts away and she leans back with a heavy exhale. "You're delusional."  
   
Reaching out to brush Patty's hair behind her ear, Ellen shakes her head, "You like being the big, bad wolf, but most of the time, you're mush."  
   
Patty stares back at the younger woman, searching her eyes for something. Something that will tell her how it is that this works. But there's no explanation. Sitting up, she captures Ellen in a kiss.  
   
This time, it isn't as gentle, even though Patty has all the time in the world. And when they're done, and spent, half naked on the couch an hour later, Patty asks Ellen to move her things into the apartment.  
   
Everything goes public shortly thereafter. Thanks to a nosey little photographer watching the movers bring in Ellen's boxes. Within three days, it is out. And both Patty and Ellen are outed to the world.  
   
Patty is livid. And needless to say, in a shitty mood for days to come.   
   
Ellen busies herself with Catherine, taking her to school herself and picking her up, giving the nanny a much needed vacation. Their evenings are spent mostly in separate rooms, or in silent movie nights which consist of either woman on either end of the couch, Catherine asleep thirty minutes in on one lap or the other.   
   
The eight day of absolutely no contact brings around a level of impatience like Ellen has never experienced, and she storms into Patty's office unannounced.   
   
"Ms. Parsons, Ms. Hewes isn't available--"   
   
She breezes right past Patty's annoying assistant, into Patty's office and slams the door shut.   
   
Patty doesn't budge from where she is sat, reading through a particularly thick manila folder.   
   
"Are you going to answer my calls any time today, or what?" Ellen demands, nostrils flaring before she locks the door to make sure no interruption presents itself. She wouldn't put it past Patty to call security on her if she were feeling particularly moody.   
   
"I'm working, Ellen. Can this wait?"   
   
"No! It cannot wait! You need to stop whatever you're doing because this is not my fault!" She shuts the blinds as a couple of onlookers stop to blatantly stare at the two women through Patty's office window. "Patty!"   
   
"Okay, enough!" Patty finally exclaims, slamming her palm hard on the desk top. "I can't do this now! GO. HOME."   
   
"NO!"   
   
Patty doesn't like this part. The part where she yells at Ellen and Ellen yells back. At least before, Ellen would leave once she was done talking back, now, she expects to win. Patty really doesn't like this. "Fine. FINE! What, Ellen! What do you want!"   
   
"Where the hell are you! Have you checked out of this relationship? Because if you have, you need to let me know! I am not going to live in silence with you...I might as well live in an empty apartment."  
   
Patty's mouth opens to reply, only there is a knock on the door that prevents her from doing so. She moves towards it, but Ellen reaches it before she can.   
   
"Ms. Hewes--" Patty's worried assistant starts, "--is everything okay?"  
   
Ellen slams the door shut with an even greater force than the first time, before Patty can reply, and turns towards the older woman with her hands out in a ridiculous stance, "Does she want to fuck you, too?"  
   
"Someone should, right?" The truth is, Patty doesn’t mean that. And she realizes, even as she says the ridiculous sentence, that it is childish and not a good enough defense. Still, it feels good to fight back and she decides it’s a gratifying enough response.   
   
Ellen can't possibly glare any harder than she is at the moment. She fleetingly scans Patty from head to toe and before either woman realizes what's happening, Patty is pressed hard against the door, Ellen is pulling both their jackets off and showing no signs of rethinking what she's started.   
   
Ellen's pants are dropped, Patty's skirt is hiked up, and hands are simultaneously pushed between warm thighs.  
   
Ellen bites down on Patty's shoulder through her shirt and Patty moans, louder than she would like with a possible group of eavesdroppers crowding around the other side of her door right about now. As a punishment for the looks she's bound to receive in the near future, Patty grabs a handful of Ellen's hair and tugs--just hard enough--to pull her up for their lips to meet.   
   
It isn't gentle or graceful in the least. It's all teeth and tongues and frantic. Fingers thrust in an equally determined cadence. They push and pull, fucking each other with only one idea in mind. To get each other off. And fast. Still, the desire to outdo one another never stops with these two and so it's a competition to see who can finish the other one off first.   
   
Pulling away with a whimper as Ellen uses one particular twist of her fingers inside her, Patty presses her parted lips to Ellen's ear and manages to whisper, "Is this what you wanted? To fuck me in public? You're giving everybody a free show already, might as well open the door."   
   
This does it. Ellen's orgasm hits hard. In turn, she pushes Patty harder against the door and adds a third finger to her own little revenge. With a grunt and another punishing kiss, Patty comes and holds on tightly to Ellen's taller frame as her knees threaten to give out on her.   
   
"Shit..." Ellen curses through bated breath as she slowly pulls back.  
   
Patty is still breathing quite heavily when she all too smoothly pushes her skirt back down. Once they're both fully dressed, she mumbles guiltily, "Michael is using this to get full custody of Catherine."  
   
Ellen stops with the first button of her jacket done and stares back in utter shock. Suddenly, her heart races for a completely different reason. "What?"  
   
"He was kind enough to warn me before he took action." Patty draws out sarcastically as she tucks her shirt back into her skirt and takes a deep breath before looking up at Ellen and offering an apologetic look.  
   
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
   
"I was trying to figure it out first. Trying to see how I could make it go away, but--"  
   
"But what? You think he really has a chance with this?"  
   
Patty shakes her head instantly, "No of course not. But he can definitely make things difficult. And I don't want Catherine to go through that. This isn't her fault."  
   
Ellen nods and licks her lips, a wave of relief washing over her. "So he can't--I mean, he can't take her away?"  
   
"I will die first." Patty says firmly, and Ellen knows she means it. After a moment, Patty adds, "I'm thinking--of offering visitation rights."  
   
Ellen has to bite her tongue, to keep from saying something too forward. Catherine is more than a delicate subject for Patty and Ellen has always been sure not to overstep, "If you think that's the best option."  
   
"It's my only option. If I want to spare us all the headache my son is capable of creating."  
   
Ellen's mouth remains shut for a long moment before Patty starts again, "Ellen, I'm telling you this because you're part of Catherine's life now as well. You have a say in this, too."  
   
"I do?" Ellen feels herself grow suddenly light. She's grown so close to the little girl over time that it's become difficult to not think of the child as partly her own. In a way, she feels as though she's been waiting for Patty to approve it.   
   
"Is that all right?" Patty asks cautiously. "You are not responsible for her if you don't want to be."  
   
"I want to be." Ellen says quickly. "I do. I want to be responsible for her." She offers a grateful smile that Patty returns. "It probably isn't the time, but this makes me really happy."   
   
"I'm glad," Patty replies, "Because you might have to go to a lot of these meet and greets between Catherine and Michael or I will kill him with my bare hands."   
   
"I might want to kill him too, but I'll refrain."   
   
"Great."   
   
The animosity from earlier is gone, but Patty still appears tense as ever. The sleepless nights are definitely evident and Ellen mentally curses Michael for being the cause of it. She moves wordlessly and pulls Patty into a hug. The blonde stiffens momentarily but eventually allows it, settling her own arms loosely about Ellen's waist.   
   
Patty's bad mood lessens only a fraction in the first few months of Michael meeting with Catherine. It's tolerable, however, and Ellen can deal with it in different ways as she learns to read what works during what days.  
   
Ignoring her altogether seems to work most days. Letting her have her space works. Also, it suits Ellen just fine to let the Hewes & Associates staff take the heat before sending Patty home to her in a happier mood. Shutting her up with sex also seems to be effective.  
   
The symptoms dissipate gradually, And even though Ellen isn't crazy about the idea of Michael seeing Catherine too regularly, she's thankful that Patty can let go of most of that anger long enough to allow them some sort of peace at home.  
   
On Patty's birthday, Ellen bakes cupcakes for the party of three, a treat which Patty protests against repeatedly until Ellen argues that it is cruel and unusual punishment to forbid a child sweets.   
   
"It's a cupcake, Patty, not a spoonful of crack." She says.   
   
Patty doesn't find this very funny but caves anyway.   
   
Later--much later--when Catherine is sleeping, Ellen talks Patty into trying out her birthday gift. Only after a few drinks, does she agree and sometime past midnight, the older woman finds herself straddling her young lovers lap and sinking a little lower onto a purple strap on dildo Ellen has so proudly dubbed 'Marlon Brando'.  
   
Patty closes her eyes and releases a heavy breath as she takes in the entire length of it and stops, shifting her hips only a bit as she adjusts to the length and girth of the phallus.  
   
Ellen kisses Patty's neck and braces the woman's hips before asking softly, "Does it feel okay?"  
   
Patty can't say much, as she's still a little drunk and it's all almost too much.  
   
"Patty?" Ellen prompts again, giving her hips a little thrust and smiling at the soft grunt she hears in return.  
   
"Yes..." Patty replies, lifting her hips and lowering back down slowly, her eyes meeting Ellen's as she braces herself on the younger woman's shoulder. "I  can't believe you bought this."  
   
"You really have no grounds for complaints right now, Patty." Ellen teases with another thrust upward that makes Patty thrust forward a little harder than intended and the blonde's lips part as she begins to pant.  
   
"Did you really have to name it Marlon Brando?" Patty asks, her hips moving a little faster, her thrusts deeper as she goes and claims one, long kiss.  
   
"Yes," Ellen says, gripping Patty's hips tighter and taking one pink pert nipple into her mouth.  
   
Patty throws her head back and moans, holding Ellen's head in place as the brunette sucks and gently rakes her teeth around the sensitive nub before leisurely swiping her tongue across it, over an over until Patty's hips are pumping harder and she can do nothing about the sounds that are coming out of her mouth. It's too soon to end it, however, so she forces herself to sit up straight and pulls Ellen in for another kiss. A slow kiss that allows her to slow everything else in effect and when she pulls back, she presses her forehead to Ellen's and braces the back of her neck.  "You have to tell me if you've changed your mind--"  
   
Ellen isn't sure she's heard correctly, and for a moment, she's confused. She pulls her head back and asks, "What?"   
   
They're moving slowly now as Patty licks her lips, and still breathing heavily, explains, "I know you saw that man. I'd find out anyway, but I'd prefer you tell me if that's what you want--"   
   
"Wh--" Ellen begins to ask again, but then remembers the week prior, when Wes tracked her down just after dropping Catherine off at school and talked her into lunch. She knows she should have told Patty, but she didn't see the point when there was nothing to tell. "--Patty, no." They stop moving altogether and all that's left is the sound of their breathing filling the room.   
   
Ellen knows words won't do much. That Patty needs to see--she needs to see to know that Ellen isn't going anywhere. So she shows her. She pushes Patty down on the mattress and kisses her lips as she resumes moving her hips. Firm, determined strokes and unbroken eye contact turn drunken birthday sex into everything they don't verbalize.   
   
Patty spreads her legs wider and Ellen pushes her hips deeper.   
   
There is nothing. No words when there is so much  in both their minds. It's a cloud of things and sentences that could be perfect but won't be because words matter very little between them. It's actions. Actions that have syndicated and validated them, but having this knowledge does nothing to ease Ellen's frustration. She's still not quite used to being speechless, when speaking is what she does best. So, she uses her body, to punish herself, and maybe punish them both for not being better, for not being--normal.   
   
She pushes herself and pushes Patty. Patty, who knows all too well what's going on in Ellen's head and can only reciprocate as best she can by holding onto the younger woman with both hands. Her back is slick under her touch. Patty can feel the muscles in Ellen's lower back tense and release with every thrust of her hips. She does nothing to direct her, except urge her forward. She urges her to go faster, harder nearing a pain she welcomes, and it begins. That heat in her belly that wraps around her spine and mid section and works its way along every limb.   
   
This release isn't fast or forgiving. It's a deep relentless wave that the seems to match Ellen's, who is now clawing at the comforter underneath her fingers. Gradually, she sinks down against Patty's body and gently presses her forehead to her cheek, her breath coming in and out in puffs of air while Patty wraps her arms tighter around Ellen--hooks a leg over her hip and they ride it out together.  
   
Minutes later, when the silence is deafening and the unawareness their release offers has slowly faded, Ellen opens her eyes and enjoys the proximity to Patty, knowing with a prideful warmth that no one else will ever be this close to this particular woman ever again. She can see the freckles on her cheek, which Patty usually covers up with make up. Ellen wishes she wouldn't. She finds the particular trait unbelievably endearing and sexy. Without thinking, she leans in the short distance it takes and purses her lips to leave a soft kiss over the still blushing cheek. "I can't go now." She says softly, and feels Patty stiffen at the unexpected sound of Ellen’s voice. "If you want me to go, you're going to have to kick me out."  
   
***************  
Epilogue:  
   
"Oh that looks yummy--" Ellen says to Catherine, who is looking at her bowl of fruit with a suspicious glare. She looks a lot like Patty when she does this, Ellen notes.   
   
"It does?" The little girl asks cautiously.   
   
Patty watches the two from where she's standing against the counter at the far end of the kitchen, with a soft smile she hides behind her tea mug. It's an ongoing bet between the two women, to see whether or not Ellen can talk Catherine into eating a full serving of breakfast. So far, two weeks into the arrangement, she's proven herself a failure and Patty has been loving being right.   
   
"Oh yeah--" Ellen tries again, scooting closer to Catherine at the island. "--that strawberry looks especially yummy. Can I have some?"  
   
Catherine feeds Ellen one half of the "yummy" strawberry.  
   
"Oh, thank you!" Ellen says through an exaggerated "mmm" sound that receives and eye roll from Patty. "Oh, Catherine, you should try it."  
   
"Okay."   
   
Back and forth, they go until the bowl is virtually empty. When Catherine hops off her stool to grab her jacket and school bag, Ellen looks almost too proud for her own good.  "I win." She says, getting up and picking up the nearly empty bowl.  
   
Patty shakes her head, "I don't think so. There's still food and there and you ate half of it as it is."  
   
"It's more than you have gotten her to eat."  
   
"The deal was for her to eat everything."  
   
"It was a large serving."  
   
"Mmhmm."  
   
After rinsing Catherine's dish, Ellen moves toward the older woman and says in a hushed tone, "Stop trying to get out of this." She loosely wraps one arm around Patty's waist in leans in, as closely as possible without kissing her, "Come on. It was close enough." She nearly purrs, moving teasingly closer so that their lips graze but not quite touch.  
   
Patty's breath hitches just slightly but she says a firm, "No. Don't be a cheat."  
   
"Come on, Patty." Ellen tries again, her other hand sliding up the blonde's torso, very slowly, until her fingertips are pressed against the underside of her breast, "Do this deposition with me. I'll pay you back, I promise."  
   
Patty smirks in return, ignoring the way her heart is racing and asks, "How can you possibly do that?"  
   
"Hmm--" Ellen replies, and allows her lips to kiss Patty's once, "--that's a good question. I can...make you dinner."  
   
"Oh?"  
   
"And then, when Catherine goes to bed, I can make you dessert."  
   
Patty bites back a moan and nods briefly instead, "Fine."  
   
"Okay." The kiss that follows proves to be a bad idea because morning make out sessions in the kitchen, when they have no time to properly finish them, can be distracting.  
   
Ellen's idle hand now shameless gropes Patty's breast, while Patty's own free hand moves around to grab Ellen's ass, the only thing she can reach with her tea still at hand. This goes on an unexpected five or six minutes before a bit of Patty's drink spills on the floor and they pull away suddenly.  
   
While Ellen is busy giggling, Patty takes a deep breath and steps away from the mess, "That's your fault. Clean it up."   
   
"Hey--" Ellen begins to complain but Patty is already leaving the kitchen.  
   
"Catherine, are you ready?"   
   
Heaving a sigh, Ellen kneels to clean up the small puddle with a paper towel and hears the front door, then a brief chit chat as Patty hands Catherine over to the nanny. By the time she tosses the dirty towel in the trash bin, Patty is back.  
   
"So, about this deposition--" Patty's tone is professional again. And Ellen wonders how she manages to do that when only seconds prior, she had the older woman pinned to the kitchen counter and had kissed her so hard, she made her spill her god damn tea.  
   
"Yes?" Ellen asks, clearing the rest of breakfast off the island.  
   
They quickly dive into work and fifteen minutes later, when they are at the front door and Ellen hands Patty her coat, she asks, "Do you think this is normal?"  
   
Patty appears to really consider the question, and after moment's thought, she answer with a  shrug, "Normal for whom?"  
   
Ellen smiles, and says, "It's normal enough." And kisses Patty goodbye for the day.  
   
END.


End file.
